who i am hates who i've been...

i am faced by a lot of dilemmas, hatred, confusion and fear.

i don't really know how to act on things. things are different now. i have gone through what i did in the past and realized that i was really really really (what?)... dunno.. i can't seem to find a word that would hit the bulls eye. i love my life. i did a lot of mistakes and i am not proud of them. i mean, mistakes are healthy for we learn a lot from it, but mine was terrible. there are times when i wish that they would all disappear from this planet and that they never existed. i am hopeless, i could say. but i am trying so hard to make things better. (at least) i am trying to be a strong girl. and i will be. i will not fail myself ones more.

what now? i hate some people. yes. i don't know why. but i can't seem to forgive easily. i do not hold grudges that easily. i can take jokes. but when someone really gets into the inner me, i couldn't seem to get them out of my being. yes, i can really be mean if i want to and if you really deserve it. beware for i do not easily forget people who ruins my fortress.

i can do nasty, stupid, spontaneous and crazy things. yes. just being real. i am tired of always pretending to be nice. i can be, but not always. i love myself, friends and family. so don't you ever hurt any of them for i will break every bone you have and i will make sure that the world will close its curtain on you.